About Some Old Poems

If you've checked the dates under some of the already posted poems, you'll notice many were written in 2008, 2009 and 2010. I was considerably younger; emotionally and psychologically there is a very large gap in maturity from what I was like n 2008/9 to what I am like now. The gap is just as big when it comes to my writing skills and style.
My poems- especially- will probably be posted in a seemingly random order, because even though I physically wrote them in one of my numerous journals at the time I felt the urge, I have to actually find those journals and poems again before I can post them here. And let's just say that I'm not the neatest, nor the most organised person you'll meet.
This is going to be quite an endeavour, and I shall now go spelunking under my bed and dive into some boxes and crates to find my journals.
Wish me luck...



Some of the Journals



It Pulls

I can't describe it really.

It's this incredible tug,

a force stronger than gravity.

It's a black hole that leads into the unknown.

Maybe that's everything,

maybe that's nothing.

It's angry.

It's sad.

It's overwhelmed..

It's overjoyed.

It's every emotion,

every inkling,

every thought,

every idea,

every passion.

It's all inside of me, all at once.

And it pulls.

It pulls down,

down into the ground,

into the earth.

Down from where I come,

down to where I'll go.

It pulls me to my grave.

It pulls me to my hell.

It pulls...

-28/05/10

Youth Of Today

 

It is quite sad

how with the youth of today

All youthfulness

seems to have slipped away

TVs replaced bikes

Computers; sticks and stones

Parents hardly worry

Little Johnny's always home

"Sex-Ed" used to start at 16

Now they know at 6

When will the media finally

Put away it's bag of tricks

10-year-olds are getting drunk

in skirts too short to tell

And so sex, drugs and rock 'n roll

start to cast their evil spell

But alas there is still hope

we must fight this to the end!

God forbid we ever get to a place

where their phone's their closest friend

Wait a minute…

-28/10/08

I Need

I love you

I choose to

there are few things you can do

to make me change my mind

When love is a feeling

it doesn't last

Emotions come and go

but decisions

remain

Which is why I choose

to believe

that one day

we'll work

and we'll last

How can one person

be so in love

and not get what they want

what they need

You

I want you

to want me

I need you

to need me

For me

You make me

the best possible version of me

That's what I want

what I need

I'd give it ALL

and give it again

To hear you say the words

"I need you too"

The words I need

 The words I want

The words I love

Which is why I'll wait

forever and a day

to hear you say

 "I need to talk to you"

The end of life as I know it

-31/10/08

Don't

Don't make me say good-bye

don't make me bid farewell

Don't make me see you turn your back

and leave me to my own demise

It's you fault

you've made me dependant

upon you

Now without you I am numb

And you wanna leave?

Are you serious?!

Would you really do that to me?

To another human

Give them reason to be

and then snatch it away

Kill them

That makes you a murderer

of the cruellest kind

And yet I love you

more than life itself

So don't make me say good-bye

just stay here with me

Don't turn your back on me

but rather embrace

-31/10/08

I Miss You Already

 

Why won't you see me

Why won't you look in my eyes

Why won't you glance in my direction

Why is all I get an occasional "Hi"

Why don't you give me the honour

Of staring into abyss

Why don't you let me feel the pleasure

That makes me think, makes me wish

That I could stare

forever and a day

and just wait and wait

for you to look my way

That I could stay

right then and there

watching you

just sitting in your chair

So why don't you do me a solid

And watch me in return

As my passion for you

eternally burns

I have yet to meet another being

That I would want

so badly to come and

sweep me off my feet

But alas

Fate has dealt me

yet another unfair hand

as I wait and wait

for the boy from the band

To look at me

-27/10/08

Sitting Here

Sitting here

I'm going insane

I'm losing my brain

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I wish I were not

Not when it's so hot

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I think of you

We'd be a wonderful two

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I wish you were gone

Or had never come

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I wish you were mine

We'd have a great time

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I'm falling apart

At the seams of my heart

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I've sculptured my smile

It runs for a mile

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I'm feeling the pain

Can't cry in the rain

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I wish I were yours

But it can't be of course

And it's not fun anymore

Sitting here

I'm going insane

I'm losing my brain

And it was never fun

• 22/10/08

CS

I look at you

but turn my head

if I look in your eyes

Another part of me ends up dead

Your passion for life

and all things beautiful

Constantly reminds me

of how I'll never be your girl

You're leaving soon

back to your old means and ways

I'll never forget

you'll stay in my heart always

I hope she realises

how lucky she is

To have you by her side

to wipe away her tears

But I am left

crying alone

Whilst I wait and wait

for you to come home

• 22/10/08